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| So...Texas is hell. That's already established. I guess the logical thing to make hell better is to put out the fire. I just didn't know that meant having my apartment flooded from the top floor down.
It happened around 2:40am...it is currently 7:08am. Has anybody come to help? No. Is anybody coming to help? Probably not. But I expected this since this is typical Texan "hospitality."
Anybody reading this is probably thinking...Texas can't really be this bad. You're right. It's worse.
Let's break down the night...
I get the call from Karen. The massive leak is reported to security...which goes to management. The first maintenance person is called. He is supposed to show up in 10-15 minutes. Ok....even though the bathroom is starting to completely flood. Water can be kind of kept back with our towels. 45 minutes later. No show. The maintenance guy is missing. Nobody can get through to them. Ok...instead of calling the 2nd maintenance guy immediately, they decide to keep trying the first guy.
Wow. Now after much deliberation, management decides to call the 2nd guy. Again. No contact. There are only two maintenance people apparently. Now they are apparently trying to figure out what to do. Meanwhile...water has now seeped through the walls and floor and down below through the ceiling.
Do they care? Probably not. Since nobody is coming to take care of it yet. Will we have to pay for everything? I wouldn't be surprised if they wanted us to.
So. No wonder Texas is so horrible. Their solution to everything is probably to turn to God for everything. God will probably come down and fix the leak magically. It'll just stop.
I should have called the police.
Then again. There are all these sick psychos out in Texas, and I kind of want the police to focus on them. Like the foster moms that think it's ok to kill foster kids in order to get money. But I'm sure she did it in the name of God, so it's ok. Or I'm sure she did that confession thingy where you are automatically forgiven for your sins, so again...it's ok. Guess those poor kids didn't pray hard enough.
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| I must have really bad karma to end up in hell... I'm trying so hard to escape...or at least to make the best of it. Texas just doesn't allow it. I'm stuck in hell. The heat consumes me until I start to lose myself. My happiness slips away slowly with every second I stay here. I fear for myself. I wonder if I will ever be as happy as I was pre-Texas. But at least it's easy to smile and pretend everything is ok.
I don't think I really believed in hell until now. However, that doesn't mean I couldn't imagine it. I imagined it to be a very cruel and painful place...and the stereotypical fire. I imagined a place where I would be completely helpless in a place where nothing made sense. I could do nothing but just give in to the torture. That's what Texas is like.
A world where people just don't think logically. A world where my rational views are considered strange, foreign, and unwelcome. Instead of flames, it's just the never-ending heat. I want to rise above the heat...but the humidity weighs me down...trapping me. This is a world where culture isn't welcome. It is either the Texan way or not. I would not be surprised if I ran into racial problems here.
This is a silly fact, but I refuse to watch the Avatar movie. Aang is a Texan...somebody from Dallas specifically. The movie doesn't have any Asians. Wushu has been butchered. They are switching to European dragons. The Fire Nation is composed of Middle Eastern people, whereas all the good guys are white people. Sounds like a similar war that we're in now. Anyways, that's off the point. All that research into Asian culture (and the Eskimo culture) all down the drain. Let's talk about the basics...a wushu palm. This Texan can't even do a proper palm hand. A palm is supposed to mean something in at least Chinese culture. Guess that doesn't mean anything anymore. Disgusting.
How can I make this more understandable? It is like me rewriting the bible because I don't see any harm in doing it. By rewriting it, I am disregarding all the culture behind it. Oh well.
Back to Texas. I don't see what the Texans see in Texas. Immune from the economy? Then how come I still see jobs disappearing and employment rates going up in Texas as well as the rest of the country. Yes. The recession is apparently a myth here. Great.
I've never been so pessimistic in my life ever. Even after Mike decided to break my heart and then shatter it and turn everybody against me, I still had the strength to go on. Texas has crushed everything to the point where I no longer see hope, and I'm not sure if I have the strength to go on. I just want to sit here like an empty shell. I think I could survive hell if I just didn't care what was happening...or rather didn't notice anything. I've tried so many methods of trying to cheer up. I even started reading the Washington Post every day...just so I have that little connection to the east coast. It's not working.
Nothing works in hell. All attempts are pretty useless.
Maybe if I had some friends or something. But that's impossible too. There is nothing to do around here except get drunk. Not my scene here, NY, or MD.
Maybe I don't fit in MD anymore either. Texas has changed me too much. I guess I just don't really belong anywhere anymore.
But I guess it's okies because I have a small sanctuary with my family. The handful of hours a day that I cherish, keeping me sane.
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| Heehee...sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself. 
Visit to MD was way too short... Too bad the weather was icky. I can't wait to go home!! Not that I'm looking forward to Texas exactly, but I miss my family a lot. >.<
Neways I had to look up rings...so of course I looked up ideal rings for me too lol. I like hearts...and pink... >.>;; Hahaha... And it seems that there aren't that many rings like that!!! Is it too cheesy? ^.^;;
Had dim sum n ice cream factory wit Shao today. Omg...the dim sum...AMAZING.
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| Heeheehee...skyped with him for a long time. But actually most of it was one of us napping while just leaving it on...cuz easier than to just call again. Or us talking on AIM and not talking on Skype lol. It was nice ♥
So yah...I'm very happy. He makes me happyyyyy >.<!!!
He is my relief from school...group projects in EVERY SINGLE CLASS. Ugh. The amount of work is just so overwhelming.
Oh...didn't do much for Halloween. Didn't even really hit me actually until maybe the night of when everybody was running around in costumes. But even so, didn't feel like it. Next Halloween, I wanna go as the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. ._. Cuz I love bunnies...
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| I had my second worst nightmare during my nap.
It started off with a mass murder at a Halloween party. Everybody was brutally murdered at the party. It felt like it was at a toy store...but at the same time it wasn't.
Then I somehow had a second chance because I was able to go back in time to the party to escape. It was really difficult though because every second that passed by meant I would lose memory of why I came back in the first place. There was a lot to distract me and to keep me there because of the way things played out. There was a huge table of Stride gum (which is always passed out for free here in NYC). I usually get some for my bf...so I was like "Oh! I'll grab a bunch!" So I circled the table scooping a bunch into my purse. Then I had to wait for the bathroom, but there were a bunch of girls that were changing into costume. FINALLY I had this huge urge to leave...so I made my way to the nearest metro stop which was several blocks away. It was pouring rain outside and dark.
I left the party in time, but my timing was still off. The mass murderer was on his way down the street, shooting everybody in sight. I was so scared, but there wasn't anything to do except try to stay out of sight. There was one part where I had to hide next to a car. There were two other girls hiding next to cars next to me. There wasn't any time to slip under the car. Those girls were killed...but I didn't have time to react to that. I just had to keep hiding. He kept circling the car I was hiding next to...so I had to keep switching sides. Finally he moved on and I was able to make it safely into the metro. Then I remembered that a bunch of people I knew were about to die...
Wasn't over though. In this portion of the dream, I think I was the cop who locked him up. Years later, I found out the murderer was released from prison because of his devotion to God. And the stuff he painted that reflected the mass murderer...was supposedly amazing enough that people wanted him out of prison. And the worst part was that he knew I still blamed him and didn't care about his devotion to God.
I saw him in the mall, and I decided to try to carry on with my life because I figured if he had been good for this long...I shouldn't worry. And it was in such a big mall that I figured I wouldn't bump into him. I was so wrong...he was everywhere. It was almost as if he was stalking me. In the last scene, I couldn't handle it anymore and I had to escape. My first reaction was to hide in a crowded store, but then I felt trapped. I used something to break the glass window to run out. I had to get to the garage to get to my car. He beat me though...because he free falled seven floors to beat me. I used some sort of fire fighter pole to slide down to the 2nd floor before taking the stairs to the garage.
He was just there waiting for me, so I ran again. And I called my girlfriend to come pick me up. When she did, I felt something really eerie. Something was wrong with the car, and something was wrong with her. I didn't care though because I just wanted to escape. I told her to let me drive, but still I was too late. Somehow he performed his second mass murder. There was a trail of dead people, but it was burned up bits. I remember a charred up head landing near me, and the cop people picked it up and were laughing.
I somehow switched to a red bike, and I tried to bike away because a bike can go places where cars can't. It was awful...it just meant I was closer to the burning flesh. But I still kept biking as hard as I could. Everywhere I went people were talking about the murderer...and how he supposedly spared girls. NOT TRUE. Then somewhere along the way, it got too much for me mentally. Some old lady turned to me as I was biking and said something weird to me... I forget what exactly, but I responded with "I guess we'll see with three more pedals." I meant like pedaling three more times on my bike to see if I could escape the charred bits of flesh that appeared before me wherever I went. After three more, they were still there. So I turned back to her and said "Guess not." So then I think I had doubts about whether I was the murderer or not. Even though it wasn't possible...I couldn't think of any other reason why I couldn't escape.
The next portion of my dream was me again...but I was married and I had a son. The three of us were on vacation along that same neighborhood...biking. As I was biking, a feeling of paranoia came over me. I lost focus of what I was doing. My husband turned his bike, but I missed it. The last thing I saw before I woke up was slipping off the bike path headed for some tree.
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